Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Our New Home

Well we are all moved in and settled in Regina! I never would have thought I would live here but here we are! Rope started school last week so that has been an adjustment for Decker and I not having him around all day everyday! I've been keeping myself busy unpacking and doing projects but give me another week and we'll see how I'm doing then. Decker has been loving his bed and his own room and has been sleeping great the last couple days, I'm hoping this isn't just a faze and that these habits are here to stay. He's never been much of a day time napper so these 1.5-2 hour naps have been heavenly!

Here's a little peek into our house and what I've been up to lately :)
love how this dresser turned out for Deckers room

Thanks Amy for another poster sharpie print!! All we need now is a headboard
but that might be a project for next summer...

another project- our anniversary

I bought that dresser 4 years ago and finally picked a colour to paint it.

Rope and I made these shelves while we were in Alberta this summer.
So easy and I'm in love with them- I need more walls so I can put more up!

Trying to keep a house plant alive.. wish me luck!!
and a picture of Decker because I know that's
really what everyone wants to see ;)

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Decker's Birth Story

Hard to believe we've had our little Decker boy in our lives for a whole month. Going in to labor I had no idea what to expect, I had talked to a lot of people abut their experiences and I was anxious and excited to see what mine would be like. Its hard to say if it went how I expected but I can honestly say that it was just what I needed

Thursday March10th I had my 39 week check up. At my appointment the week before my cervix was already soft and thin so at this appointment my Doctor, Dr Tyson, swept my membranes- not the most pleasant experience but I was willing to try anything that might get baby here. I left the office not feeling much different but that night I was very crampy and felt like I was up tossing and turning all night. I was worried that every night was going to be like that from then on, little did I know that was the last night sleep before baby would be arriving! Early in the pregnancy my due date was bumped forward a few days but at my appointment Dr Tyson told me that she wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up in the hospital before my current due date March 17.  So with that in my head I felt even more motivated to get this baby out! I had already been walking on the treadmill daily for the last couple weeks and had been drinking raspberry leaf tea- yuck! I decided to take it to the next level though and with advice from Amy went and bought some castor oil and a raspberry booster juice. So Friday around 2 I drank half the bottle of castor oil mixed with the booster juice. I was surprised that the taste and consistency didn’t bother me too much and I was able to get it down no problem. I walked on the treadmill for 10-15 minutes and then decided to try and take a nap. My back had been feeling sore all day and I had been using a heating pad but at this point it was bothering me so much that a nap was impossible. I got up around 5 and was feeling even more crampy. I wasn’t sure if it was just the castor oil upsetting my stomach or if these were real contractions. I think I was hesitant to let myself think that this could actually be it and that baby could be coming a lot sooner then we had thought! As the evening went on the pain was getting worse so I decided to take a shower. I ended up staying in there for an hour and it seemed to help until I got out and realized how much things had progressed. Earlier in the day I had put ribs in the crock pot but the thought of eating them made me sick so Rope ate alone and then brought me an English muffin with jam, which was the only thing that sounded remotely appetizing.  Rope had planned on going to an Elders quorum bowling party but when we realized that this could be it so he decided to stay home.(in other words I panicked at the thought of him leaving me) After texting with our sisters we decided that we better head to the hospital, even if we got sent home then at least I would get checked. It was so surreal as we drove to the hospital and parked the car we were nervous and so excited. By the time we got to the hospital at midnight my contractions were every few minutes. I was able to breath through them fine but the worst part was the pain in my back. With each contraction I would have Rope push as hard as he could on my lower back to try and feel some relief. We were placed in an assessment room right away so I was able to have a bed to lay in which was so nice. We waited in that room for a while and eventually a 4th year med student and a nurse came in to ask me some questions and check how dilated I was. I was so disappointed when they told me that I was 2cm dilated because I knew that meant I would be sent home to wait and progress. They gave me a shot of morphine for the pain (which did nothing but make my leg sore) and told me they would be back to check on me in about 20 minutes. I immediately started praying that I would dilate. For my entire pregnancy getting to the hospital and getting to stay at the hospital was what I had been most nervous and worried about. I had heard stories of being sent away and then almost not making it back in time to have the baby at the hospital and I did not want that! Especially with this being my first I was scared of not knowing when to go back to the hospital and so the idea of going home at this point terrified me. While we waited I even went as far as thinking positive thoughts about my cervix opening ;) What was supposed to be a 20 minute wait turned into closer to an hour, but I was grateful for every extra minute if it meant I could possibly get to stay. Finally the nurse came in to check on us and I asked to be checked again before we were sent home. She checked me and we were thrilled to find out that I was now dilated to 4cm and this meant that we would be admitted. So at 2:30 I changed into a hospital gown and it started setting in that we would not be leaving the hospital without our baby. We decided to take a walk down the hallway but didn’t make it very far because my contractions were much worse. Rope bought me a Caramilk bar but I could hardly eat a square of it, food just didn’t taste good. By 4 o’clock the contractions were getting so bad they had me in tears. We asked the nurse if we could be moved to labor and delivery as soon as there was room so that I could get an epidural. Going into labor I didn’t have an exact birth plan but in this moment I knew I was already so tired from being up all day and now most of the night and so I couldn’t wait to feel some relief from the epidural. At 4:30 we were moved to a labor unit room. Right away they gave me a short acting narcotic because the anesthesiologist was busy and they weren’t sure when she would be able to get to me, this seemed to help a bit as we waited for the anesthesiologist. Finally at 6 o’clock I got the epidural. Going in I had been nervous for the needle but at this point a poke and some burning in my back was much better then the pain from contractions that I had been feeling for the last 12 hours. The anesthesiologist ended up placing the epidural and then taking it out and replacing it in a different position. They told me that in about 10-15 minutes I should feel some relief, but the time passed and I could still feel everything. The anesthesiologist came back in and adjusted the epidural and switched to some stronger medication, she told me that if it wasn’t working in another 10-15 minutes she would take it out and re-do it. I was not looking forward to having it re-done, the epidural itself wasn’t painful to get but sitting perfectly still was getting to be impossible with each contraction. The nurses told me to go use the washroom before she came back to re-do the epidural and it wasn’t until I tried to stand up that I realized it had started to work and I was definitely feeling numb. Over the next few minutes the pain went away until I couldn’t even tell when I was having a contraction- It was amazing! Finally at 7:30 we were able to get some rest since we had both been awake all day and all night. The nurses came and checked on me regularly and had me switch positions in the bed quite often because they were worried about the variability of baby’s heart rate. At 9 o’clock the resident doctor came in and broke my water with what looked like a giant crochet hook, this was very weird since I couldn't feel anything because of the epidural, I actually had to ask Rope if anything was happening. I was now dilated to 6cm. They also attached an internal monitor to baby’s head so that they could get a more accurate reading of the heart rate. At 10:30 our nurse gave me some oxytocin to help keep things progressing. She told us that we would most likely have the baby around suppertime. Since early on in labor Rope had it in his head that he would like the baby to be born by noon for some reason, we told our nurse this and she didn’t think that at the rate I was progressing this would be a possibility. I hadn’t eaten anything all night so when they offered me some grape jello I ate it up and it tasted like the best thing I’d ever had. At 11 o’clock I got out of bed and sat on a birthing ball, at this point I was starting to feel pain in my back again and some pain with each contraction. I was starting to feel some pressure too so our nurse decided to check me since I hadn't been checked since arriving in our labor and delivery room. We were all surprised when she said she could feel and actually see the baby’s head. Rope was also able to see the baby’s head! I couldn’t believe that it was going to be time to start pushing! More nurses came into the room and the resident and attending doctors. They prepped me for labor and then it was time to push. After 4 contractions Decker Michael Smith was born on March 12 just before lunch at 11:59am he weighed 7lbs 4oz and was 20.5inches long. They let Rope announce the gender and we both couldn’t believe it! Our little baby boy was finally here- he had dark hair, which I was surprised to see, tiny chubby fingers and a little sucked in lower lip. He was perfect and he was ours. They laid him on me as soon as he was born and I couldn’t believe the love I felt, it was overwhelming. This was our little boy and I was his mommy. Rope also got to cut the cord and then we both took turns staring at him and falling more and more in love with him. Rope was so great though labor, always making sure I was as comfortable as I could be, even holding up my cup so I could take a drink and applying my lip chap for me. I honestly could not have done it without his support and encouragement. Decker has been such a great baby all the doctors and nurses were so impressed with how calm and content he was- he never cried when he was checked. Breastfeeding for the first time was also an amazing experience Decker latched right on like he’d been doing it all his life and has been a great eater ever since. We have just been in newborn heaven!
I look back on Decker’s birth story and love it; I wouldn’t change any part of it! I feel so blessed that it was perfect for us and it brought us our sweet baby boy!

Sunday, 21 February 2016

-Baby Smith-

Hard to believe there are a few short weeks left before Baby Smith will be here! We are so excited!!! A few months ago I came across this quote and it really spoke to me,
"Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come" Joseph F. Smith

Very few people know but Baby smith did not come to be the way we had planned.
I can remember when we were first married and were talking about when we wanted to start having kids, I thought I was ready right then but Rope thought we should wait a year. I was sure that year was going to take forever to pass. Well fast forward 2 very speedy years and we felt ready to start our family. It was summer 2013 and the first month I was sure it was going to happen, I was so excited at the thought of a baby. Unfortunately pregnancy didn't happen that month and continued to not happen for us.
We were very fortunate to be living in Saskatoon during this time where there is a new fertility clinic. We started seeing a specialist in the Winter of 2015. We had a great doctor throughout everything and knowing that we were receiving the best care was so comforting. Our infertility was "unexplained". I can remember when the Doctor told us this after numerous test. I was relieved in a way, that it wasn't anything more serious, but at the same time it was so frustrating that there really was no good reason we weren't getting pregnant. I would get so down on myself feeling sorry for the situation we were in and how unfair it was. All around us people were starting and growing there families and it felt like we were stuck. However, I also had lots of experiences during this time that gave me hope just when I was ready to give up. There were moments of peace when I was sure that we would have a baby but that I just needed to be patient and remember that Heavenly Father truly is in charge. Since we had been married for 3 years naturally we had been asked the question "So when are you going to start having kids" the first few times it was hard for me to hold back the tears while I made up some fake excuse. I don't know if I can say that it ever got easier but I got better at brushing it off.
In the end we got pregnant the month we decided to take a break from any treatments or doctors appointments and just relax. The decision to sit and do nothing was a hard one because it felt like we would be wasting time, but I truly feel like we had to get to that point, we were relying on Heavenly Father to comfort us and help us get through it. Nothing was ever able to be explained to us about or infertility, but I don't care, we are just so thankful to have a baby on the way!

Our journey to start our family wasn't anything like how I thought or tried to plan it would happen, but I wouldn't change it either. It was not easy but the perspective I have gained through this trial is priceless. Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us and knows what we can handle and what we need better then we know for ourselves. I know that Heavenly Father is also ready and waiting to bless us,  those blessing will come in his timing, but they will come! I also gained alot of perspective on the lives of others, you really never know what is going on in someones life. I have tried to be more conscious and thoughtful of this and to just show more love to those around me. I want to be a person that lifts others and brings them happiness just as people were able to do for me when I was struggling.
Now hurry up and get here baby we have been waiting!

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

reflection then redirection

Since I'm currently serving in the Primary in our ward this gives me the opportunity to do sharing time every couple months.
I'll admit this was one of the things i was most terrified to do when i received my calling.  I have never been fan of public speaking, big group or small group it doesn't matter. I hated the idea of getting up in front of the entire primary and winging it. I'm the type that when I give a talk {or make a phone call} I write down absolutely every word that I'm going to say and under no circumstance do I change the plan.
Through this calling I can almost say that I have conquered my fear of public speaking- at least in this situation. I have started looking forward to the months that I get to prepare a sharing time.
I know that I am learning WAY more then what I am ever teaching the kids, but that ok because I probably need to hear everything way more then they need to.
while preparing sharing time for next week I came across this quote:

I remember hearing this talk and thinking what a great message that was, but soon I forgot and I haven't thought of this particular talk since. I know that as I am able to try to keep in tune with the spirit I can receive these special messages that are just for me. 
It's hard for me to always feel grateful. When things aren't going exactly how I've planned or I feel frustrated or like I'm the only one who feel this way its too easy to focus on all the bad. 
I know there are always going to be things in my life that aren't going perfectly- but as I am able to take a step back I can recognize all the things that are right in my life.
Rope and I were married in the temple and can be together forever.
Even though we live far away from family we are so blessed to have some family living right in Saskatoon with us.
I have a job and can provide for our family. Looking back I can recognize so many ways we have been blessed because I have this particular job.
Rope will graduate with a Degree from University this year.
We were able to house sit a beautiful home for the last 7 months. We were so fortunate that we were in a place in our lives that we could take this opportunity.
I have a body that works and can be active and I am learning to not take this simple fact for granted
I have a wonderful calling that gives me these opportunities for reflection and then redirection.

As I look at the bigger picture of our lives, and not focus on little things, I can more easily see that we are so blessed.

Friday, 30 January 2015


New year new plans! In the past I haven't been a huge resolution setter {or keeper} so I'm trying something new this year!
Instead of making a list of things I'm going to do Rope and I decided to pick a theme for our year. Our theme is more of a general goal for how we want our year to go and how we are going to become better in the meantime.
The theme for 2015 comes from one of my favorite hymns, "More Holiness Give Me", it's the last two lines of the first verse.
More faith in my Saviour, more sense of His care, more joy in His service, more purpose in prayer.

This year we are going to focus on the important stuff- becoming more kind and thoughtful, more prayerful, more aware of our blessings and most importantly more Christ-like.

Happy 2015!!

Thursday, 4 December 2014


For some reasons this year has felt different as I have been preparing for Christmas. I've been doing all the same things I always have and we had the tree and decorations up by the first week in November, but still something has been missing. I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to figure out but in all the business of this time of year I have forgotten the most important part of Christmas- Christ.
Last night was when the change began. I finally watched the Christmas video that has been popping up on my newsfeed for days. It was exactly what I needed to see and showed me what exactly what I was missing. Then tonight I went to a relief society meeting and the whole thing was centred around Christ and especially remembering him this time of year. I got some great ideas of how I can make the rest of this Christmas season more about the actual reason for the season.
I am so grateful for the birth, life, death and resurrection of Christ. I'm grateful for the Christmas season and the opportunity it gives us to focus our lives around Christ and all he did for us. I love the trees and decorations and the excitement of finding the perfect gift for someone but even more than all of that I love my Savior. I love what he did for each one of us and I love that because of it we can live again with our families and be with them forever!
I hope to focus my life around Christ more this month and also throughout the coming year.

If you'd like to watch {or re-watch} the video that changed my Christmas you can find it here :)

Thursday, 30 October 2014


October has become a very special month for us.
On the 8th Rope and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. Rope planned the date and we dressed up and went to a fancy restaraunt for dinner. He knows I like to dress up nice with him sometimes so it was so thoughtful of him to pick a place he knew I would like to go to together. We have grown together so much this past year and I can't wait to see what the next year or 2 or 10 have in store for us.
This month we were also able to remember and celebrate the lives of Brynn and Grandma Dixie. Two wonderful women who are examples of strength and love to me everyday.
We had the wonderful opportunity to spend thanksgiving surrounded by family. I couldn't help but remember the events of last years thanksgiving  weekend and it gave me so much to be grateful for, especially for the knowledge that families are forever!
My aunt Christy put out a challenge to donate blood during the month of October in honor of Brynn, so on Monday I went and donated blood in Saskatoon. Brynn received many blood transfusions throughout her battle with cancer so it was nice to do something to give back. I'm sure she would love that through remembering her we were able to help someone else, she was always so happy to help in whatever way she could.
I wore Brynn's favorite color and thought of her the whole time, it brought me so much strength to  know what I was doing would make her proud. I'm so grateful for a healthy body that allows me to donate blood to give to those who need it.
It's been a wonderful month :)